What Paper Writing Means to Me

by KD aged 26, in graduate school

Paper Writing means peanut M&Ms. It is my fuel. It is the reason I will invariably gain weight over the next few days. It is the reason that for a month after my papers are due I will not be able to look at Peanut M&Ms. Someday (maybe tomorrow) I will write an ode to these candy coated sweet and salty treasures.

Paper Writing means late nights and coffee-required mornings. Yesterday my roommate told me that she could hear me groan when my alarm went off. Both of us had our door shut and though the walls are thin, they are not that thin.

Paper Writing means I am either distracted, chatty (inviting procrastination), or evasive.

Paper Writing means I don't return calls except to my mother who I try to keep on the phone so I don't have to return to the computer. I have even asked (repeatedly) to talk to Maggie, their dog. Or one of the neighbors. Or anyone who happens to me within a 1 mile radius (which is coincidentally about half of our town).

Paper Writing means that my hands are so sore from typing and writing that last night I could not even open a bottle of nail polish. Luckily I found one that was not screwed so tight.

Paper Writing means that the most important personal hygiene habit is doing my nails. Yes, it even supercedes showering. I have to look at the damn things all day as I read, take notes, and type. They better look good.

Paper Writing means that I check email constantly but never return emails (I don't have time for that!).

Paper Writing means more blog entries because it doesn't feel as much like procrastinating because I'm still writing....about stuff.

Paper Writing means I feel incredibly guilty for having spent this time writing about paper writing but not actually writing my papers.