Officially Done

With Winter quarter at least. Papers are turned in, grades submitted. It feels awesome. Thus far, I have cleaned my apartment twice (OCD, anyone?), baked lemon cookies, 'citrus' zucchini bread, went hiking, watched Sweeney Todd on DVD, and went running. This week holds: the summer job hunt, more running, swimming, more movies (Miss Potter tonight!), Wicked in LA, and the Comparative Drama Conference.
I think I like graduate school best on break.

What Paper Writing Means to Me

by KD aged 26, in graduate school

Paper Writing means peanut M&Ms. It is my fuel. It is the reason I will invariably gain weight over the next few days. It is the reason that for a month after my papers are due I will not be able to look at Peanut M&Ms. Someday (maybe tomorrow) I will write an ode to these candy coated sweet and salty treasures.

Paper Writing means late nights and coffee-required mornings. Yesterday my roommate told me that she could hear me groan when my alarm went off. Both of us had our door shut and though the walls are thin, they are not that thin.

Paper Writing means I am either distracted, chatty (inviting procrastination), or evasive.

Paper Writing means I don't return calls except to my mother who I try to keep on the phone so I don't have to return to the computer. I have even asked (repeatedly) to talk to Maggie, their dog. Or one of the neighbors. Or anyone who happens to me within a 1 mile radius (which is coincidentally about half of our town).

Paper Writing means that my hands are so sore from typing and writing that last night I could not even open a bottle of nail polish. Luckily I found one that was not screwed so tight.

Paper Writing means that the most important personal hygiene habit is doing my nails. Yes, it even supercedes showering. I have to look at the damn things all day as I read, take notes, and type. They better look good.

Paper Writing means that I check email constantly but never return emails (I don't have time for that!).

Paper Writing means more blog entries because it doesn't feel as much like procrastinating because I'm still writing....about stuff.

Paper Writing means I feel incredibly guilty for having spent this time writing about paper writing but not actually writing my papers.

Last Night I had a Dream...

So last night in my dream, I had a job to do. There was this big pile of manure and I had to shovel it into a wheelbarrow and then create a new big pile of manure.
I knew that this morning I would be writing my final papers.
Coincidence?

Back to Life, Back to Reality

I have to say the weekend in LA was just what I needed. I really do feel refreshed...or is it denial? Whatever, I am enjoying it, particularly since the work is piling up and had I not had the mini vacation, I would have surely cracked.
So I keep clicking my cute red flats and saying "There is more to life than grad school. There is more to life than grad school."

One Day, 24 Hours

That's how much time I get to be a real person, not a graduate student. I am going to LA tomorrow with no books, not even my reading glasses! I am going to be KD before graduate school. I am staying with April and my good friend Rebecca will be there, both of whom knew me as an actual person. First as as the girl in the hat at freshmen orientation, then as an undergrad, then as a technical writer, and then as the dreaded graduate student.
And hopefully when I drive out of town, I can leave all my graduate school worries behind. No papers to grade or to write, no books upon books to read, no presentations to rehearse, no professors giving me a hard time about sentence syntax and bibliographies.

This should probably tell me I need more balance in my life but it will just have to wait until the quarter is over.